New Eyes
Often I get lost, bogged down in day to day minutiae. Then I need to find a way to change my perspective.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new sights, but in looking with new eyes.
—Marcel Proust*
It has been a while since my lovely long weekend in Amsterdam. I am still smiling about it, and at the same time, very happy to be home. Part of what I like about travel is that I also miss home, and see it with new eyes when I return.
I am glad to be back in my comfortable space with the things and people I love around me. While traveling does bring me to myself, it also reinforces what home is to me. I feel at ease at home, and am happy to is get back to my routine, my daily ritual, which disappears or changes when I travel. Usually, one of two things happen. I miss my ritual and savor it when I get back, or I learn a new way of being and my routine goes out the window. Both are happy options for me, and serve to bring me into awareness, into the fact that I get to craft every day according to my choosing in that moment.
I kind of love routine in my days. I find it comforting. Like making coffee. I grind the beans, and oh it smells so goo. I heat the water, pour it over the coffee slowly, enjoying the smells and sights as I’m anticipating the first sip. Most days, I step outside for that first taste, no matter the weather. It reconnects me to nature and to something bigger than me, and gets me off my petty thinking which, to be honest, I often wake up with.
When I am packing, I sometimes anticipate a loss of or change in my routine, which is sometimes a source of plenty of pre-travel stress. It kind of depends on if I’m packing from a grounded place or if I’m doing it in a rush, last minute and feeling tired, under pressure to get it done and get it done right! Sometimes it’s that I am excited and can’t calm my mind. These are the times I tend to overpack. Coming from that place of trying to have everything for any situation that arises, I stuff in everything I might need. I have brought my own coffee, olive oil (I usually cook in the apartments I stay in), sunscreens and scarves and extra this and that and then and more. Wait, do I need a fancy outfit just in case? What about these shoes? What about mosquito repellant, or cream for itching or sore feet and, oh bandaids! On and on it goes.
Now when I calm and grounded as I pack, I know that all I really need are some underwear, a couple of outfits, comfy shoes and my toothbrush. (I even forgot my toothbrush when I went to Amsterdam and got the cutest bamboo one with some cool black charcoal toothpaste! Not the typical souvenirs, but I like them and they do remind me of my trip every time I use them!) Turns out there are stores with whatever else I might decide I want/need. How about that? 😜
I love packing in this way, knowing that I can get by mostly with myself and a few things to keep me comfortable and ready for whatever. These days there is even more incentive to travel light, as the airlines reduce the size of allowable carry on luggage. But even if I am checking a bag, I’d rather not stuff it full. I want to be able to manage it easily, and leave room for goodies I may buy while traveling.
(I’ll be posting soon on my tips on how I travel light. Subscribe to get it sent to you directly!)
So, leaving my special coffee or whatever else behind is in order. To save room, yes, but so much more. Living without these things reminds me that I can. That I’m not so picky or precious about things as to need them always. Not only am I ok, I actually enjoy changing my routine. That is part of why I travel, to shake things up.
Sometimes I happily miss my routine, and know I’ll be glad to get home to it, all in good time. Other times I find something I like better. That too, is one of the gifts if travel; to learn different ways of doing things, different ways of living. That happened on this trip. I enjoyed the slow, delicious breakfasts there so much, that I’ve put breakfast back into my day. I’m eating lighter at other times of the day, and so far, enjoying it. Haven’t decided about long term, but it is good to do something different and come back to that awareness and choice again that doing something new brings to my life.
Being willing to do things differently, to learn and adapt to different situations is so important. I find that resilience and flexibility mean I can adapt to whatever life serves up. What a chance we’ve had to practice being flexible and resilient in the past couple of years with the pandemic. Clearly we are not in control of everything. We need to realize that, accept it, then go on with life. Learn to adjust to what is. Not what we wish were, but to what is. Once we are there, fully accepting the moment as it is, we can tap into our wise self and choose the best action for now.
I’m content to be home again and back to the ritual of making my coffee in the morning. I notice that things that bothered me before my trip have fallen away. Rather than see the crumbs on the counter, I see the remnants of a delicious meal. It’s because the travel gave me new eyes.
Sometimes I struggle to find them when I’m home, caught up in the minutiae of my to do list, focusing on everything that is not how I want it to be. This needs to be fixed and that updated. I need to catch up on all my emails or maybe people with think I’m a worthless person, I should do something important and productive with my life and I don’t know what to do and I’m almost 60 and I’m supposed have fucking figured this out by now and ok I’ll just watch more Netflix.
Aaack. Ugh. Yuck. When I get there, I know that I need to kick myself out. I need to get that bigger perspective. I need to remember I am not my to do list.
I was listening to a guided meditation by Tara Brach recently about expansive awareness. She spoke of a picture with a bird in the middle. When people were asked what they saw, they all said a bird. But what is there is a sky, with a bird in it. Oh right, there is a sky!
Traveling (and perhaps especially solo traveling) helps me see the sky again. Instead of complaining about the bird shit, I notice the colors of the bird in flight in the endless space of white, gray or blue.
Do you ever get bogged down in the minutiae? Does travel, or something else help you find your way out? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
*So turns out those well known words are not, according to the website linked below, exactly what Marcel Proust wrote. They are a very simplified version and perhaps all together different meaning words. Check out the link here and you can decide for yourself.
I decided to use the simpler version because it was the one in my head and fits to my thoughts as I write this.
What Marcel Proust Really Said about Seeing with New Eyes
**Here’s a link the the Tara Brach meditation in case you want to give it a try. It’s free, and only about 15 minutes per day. I love and highly recommend it. シ