I’m feeling anxious this morning, unfinished, unproductive. Sometimes naming what I’m experiencing, feeling it and investigating with kindness leads me to release these feelings of discomfort. So here goes.
Fear, anxiousness, of not doing it right. What I notice is that this is getting in the way of my being. That is my ability to be, to just be, to be present, able to enjoy and savor.
When I’m in this state, I do annoyance more easily, and feel fragile. As in need to be on on my own, not wanting to interact much.
I’m chuckling now. The universe is serving me. My daughter whom I sometimes experience as distant and moody is awake, talkative, and just before I began writing this paragraph, came to sit right next to me.
So, time to let go.
Feelings of inadequacy. Feeling that I need to write and that when I do it may be poor. Feelings that I’m inadequate because I don’t write enough. As if people are waiting, expecting me in their inbox and I’m disappointing them.
Allowing those feelings. It’s true. It may be poor.
And, life will go on. My family and friends will still love me.
Investigation. Is it true? That I am inadequate? No. Not really true. Sometimes, yes of course, because I’m human. And that’s ok.
Is it true, that people are waiting? No. I laugh again. I certainly am not waiting for more in my inbox. And I know most others aren’t either. So upon investigation, it’s ok. I can write when I’m ready and they may not read it anyway, because of having too much in their inbox. Like me. シ
I’m feeling freer already. Like I’m letting the chains around my “being” drop to the ground. And look at that. I wrote something.
I remember that I was not put on the planet to produce. Instead I was put here to experience. And I choose that. You know, experience, savor, share, repeat.
Wishing you a weekend of experiencing and savoring. And if you care to share, I’d love to hear about it.
Good morning from Berlin sweet Rylla! Thank you for your discomfort, it brings lightness! Wise discomfort it is….. xxxx