(by the way the audio isn’t exactly what’s written below as I find when I read I add some thoughts along the way)
The words in this section are short and powerful; I’m tempted to quote the whole thing, but instead I’ll share a few thoughts as usual.
When I led a group reading this book a few years ago, we lost some participants who found the book confusing and enigmatic (for my non-native english speakers and for me - had to look it up to confirm it’s meaning - enigmatic is something mysterious and difficult to interpret). I can completely understand that when reading this chapter, because if you don’t understand Eckhart’s definition of ego, then the concepts seem distant.
Ego here, according to my understanding of Eckhart Tolle, is the part of us that is worried about how we look, how we come across or are perceived. It is the part of us that is jealous, needy, revengeful, and resentful. It needs things to go its way, or it gets upset and drama ensues. It’s the part of us that gets offended. Easily.
It isn’t inherently bad; it is a part of our thinking that can protect us in a dangerous situation. But the ego just isn’t great at identifying if the situation is really dangerous or not. It usually finds that you have been wronged, and then over-inflates or dramatizes the scenario.
It’s the part of our brains that overthinks and over-worries about everything.
And when we get together with others who feel the same way as we do, sure that we have been victimized and wronged, we begin to build a collective ego. The ego feels righteous and strong when we’re with others who see it our way. And that’s when the problems begin, because in such a righteous state we feel empowered to do “whatever is necessary” in defense of our position. Including cruelty, violence, and war.
On a collective level, the mindset “We are right and they are wrong” is particularly deeply entrenched in those parts of the world where conflict between two nations, races, tribes, religions, or ideologies is longstanding, extreme, and endemic. Both sides of the conflict are equally identified with their own perspective, their own “story,” that is to say, identified with thought. Both are equally incapable of seeing that another perspective, another story, may exist and also be valid.
Both (sides) regard themselves as victims and the “other” as evil, and because they have conceptualized and thereby dehumanized the other as the enemy, they can kill and inflict all kinds of violence on the other, even on children, without feeling their humanity and suffering. They become trapped in an insane spiral of perpetration and retribution, action and reaction.
Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth
He goes on to point out that most of the violence on this planet isn’t about individual ego, but rather, the collective.
By far the greater part of violence that humans have inflicted on each other is not the work of criminals or the mentally deranged, but of normal, respectable citizens in the service of the collective ego. One can go far as to say that on this planet “normal” equals insane. What is it that lies at the root of this insanity? Complete identification with thought and emotion, that is to say, ego.
Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth
Once we identify completely with a side, we leave no room for any other perspective. Oh my ego loves that, but really I don’t. It doesn’t feel good for long because it isn’t loving, isn’t really who we are.
And then the kicker is that whatever we dislike in someone else is active within us. But, it is not who we are. It just the ego acting out.
Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you. But it is no more than a form of ego, and as such, it is completely impersonal. It has nothing to do with who that person is, nor has it anything to do with who you are. Only if you mistake it for who you are can observing it within you be threatening to your sense of self.
Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth
So what do we do? Practice becoming aware of the ego in day to day life, noticing the little things, when I feel offended, angry, reactionary. Those feelings are in me, so I am the one to let them go. I can do my best to be aware of the “bruised ego” and its tendency to be reactive, to feel hurt, to want to blame other people or the situation. And I can know it isn’t real, it isn’t me, it’s my ego.
The ego isn’t my enemy; I don’t want to fight with it, especially since that just feeds it. I only need become aware of it to disarm it. From awareness I can learn to let go and find peace while connecting to my true self.
Let’s keep reading and learning together to continue getting closer to who we really are, which is love. Thanks for joining me on this journey of living life fully, learning the whole way.
xoxo,
